These 5 Things Can Ruin Your Proposal
Proposing to your SO is a huge step, and while the event itself can be overwhelming, it’s arguably the biggest milestone in your life. Just think about it: this is the only family member you can choose, and the act of proposal is the moment you make this announcement official. So, it’s only natural that you want this event to symbolize the magnitude of this moment and decision. Sadly, things don’t always go according to plan.
These 5 Things Can Ruin Your Proposal
To avoid this, here are the top five things that can ruin your proposal.
Overplanning It
It’s all about the momentum. You want your proposal to be spontaneous and your plan to be flexible. Sure, having a band start with a specific song is excellent, but what if they’re late or mess it up? The more elements you include in this “perfect” proposal, the more likely something will go wrong. Also, keep in mind that there are things that you can’t control, and proposing outdoors in October and putting all your hopes into the idea that there won’t be rain is quite ridiculous.
Instead, it would be best if you kept it simple. Pick a restaurant, get a ring, and propose. Plan a small speech, but speaking from the heart is just as good for you. You can have the plan to do so during or after a desert, but as long as the parameters are simple, there are not many points at which something can go critically wrong. Remember, if it’s the right person, there’s no way to ask it wrong.
Asking It Out of the Blue
The truth is that while you want it to be a surprise, you don’t want it to be too much of a surprise. Chances are that she’ll be leaving hints that it’s time for your relationship to move to a new stage. Proposing to someone whom you’ve just met or with whom you’ve never talked about long-term plans is just asking for a rejection. In these scenarios, it’s virtually 50/50, and it’s all on you.
So, before a proposal, you must ensure you are on the same page. It would be best if you made sure that this is a person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life and that you want her to feel the same. The most important thing to remember is that while you may drop or misplace the ring, the worst thing to happen is for her to say no. While it’s normal for your heart to race while asking the question, the reality is that you should already know the answer before proposing.
Not Hiding the Ring that Well
While looking for a diamond engagement ring, you need to consider two different factors. The first one is that your SO will wear it for quite a while, so you need to choose something she’ll be proud to display. Second, you need to consider that you also need to hide it so as not to “ruin” the proposal.
We used the term ruin lightly because while it will ruin the event itself, it’s not the worst-case scenario.
The scenarios that you’re facing are:
- She sees it and pretends as if nothing happened (to make you feel bad). In this scenario, the surprise is ruined, which is the whole point.
- She calls you out on it and says yes, in which case the surprise is still ruined, but it’s ok.
- She calls you out on it and says no. Now, in this scenario, the fact that the surprise was ruined is the least of your worries. It might even turn out to be a good thing.
Either way, while shopping, think about the container and the places to conceal it. Also, you don’t have to go too wild with it.
Telling Too Many People
Consulting others before making a significant life decision can be a good idea. However, the more people know, the more likely someone will slip the beans. This ruins the surprise, but it also makes you look too self-reliant. It may also appear as if you’re looking for too much approval, which doesn’t leave too good of an impression. The more you can do on your own, the better.
Remember that sometimes you might need assistance from some of her friends. However, it would be best if you determine you can be trusted with a secret. Chances are that your fiancée-to-be already hinted at this earlier in the conversation. On the other hand, if you don’t know her friends that well, chances are that the engagement itself is a bit premature.
Make It About the Other Person
This is so important because you want them to feel like you’re doing it for them (which you are). By making it generic, you’re sending the message that you want to get married and don’t care too much about who you are with. You need to understand their origin and honour any boundaries they’ve previously set.
Some people make mistakes and propose too much about themselves. This ego-centric approach is not a very good idea. Instead, try to show them that they’re unique to you and give them a reason why (even if it’s hard to put into words/gestures). Overall, make it about the other person.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, if it’s the right person, she would be willing to tolerate any ceremonial mistake you make during the proposal. However, the fact that she’s willing to look past that means she’s even more deserving of a perfect proposal. It’s a bit paradoxical, but it still makes sense. While things can go wrong unexpectedly, paying attention to these five areas alone can make a difference.
